Top 5 Things I Learned In My First 2 Years As "Daddy"

Eva and I have been together for a little over 9 years, but we’ve only been parents for the last two. Sometimes during the course of our conversations we ask each other what in the world we did before we had Breanna. We laugh about it because it seems like life must have been pretty dull (although we never realized it at the time) compared to the adventures that entered our lives when we became PARENTS.

Actually, we had a great time together both before and after Bre came along. But things definitely change when you have kids — or A kid in our case. Thankfully for Eva and me all of the changes have been welcome ones. Not to say that it’s always easy being a parent, but compared to a lot of parents we are VERY lucky. Bre has been relatively low maintenance so far (I’m sure this will change when she becomes a teenager one day, but THANK GOD we’ve got a long time before we have to cross that bridge).

Breezy likes eating healthy food (except for salad). She sleeps through the night and has done so for a loooong time. She doesn’t have any weird allergies. She never tried to put things in her mouth (pennies, marbles, magnets, etc.) that didn’t belong in there. She doesn’t try to play with electrical outlets (although we still have them all covered with safety thingies). She doesn’t even climb out of her “big girl bed” in the morning until we come into her room. (She could get down if she wanted to, although we have protective rails on the side of her bed that isn’t against the wall, so she doesn’t fall out of the bed at night. Eva and I both pitched in to potty train Bre, and she is out of diapers now. She can carefully walk up and down the stairs by herself (although she doesn’t go up or down unless we’re with her). She has only been sick a few times and got through the ear tube surgery without consequence. She loves to travel and is a TERRIFIC companion on trips (even long ones like the 8-hour-that-due-to-traffic-became-a-10-hour drive to Georgia and back that we recently took). Are you getting the picture?

As a side note, this is one of the main reasons we haven’t had a second child yet. We’re convinced that since Breanna is so easy, our next one is going to be a TERROR!

Anyways, one of the purposes of creating this blog back in January was to offer advice to other dads (for what it’s worth). I’m certainly no expert on parenting, child behavior or psychology or anything similar. But I did earn a B.A. in Communication (with a Public Relations Concentration and a Hispanic Studies Minor) when I was at East Carolina University, and strong communication skills are definitely a vital trait of any good parent — whether you are communicating with your wife or your child.

Breanna recently turned 3 (which is why I upgraded the title of this blog from Raleigh Daddy 2.0 to Raleigh Daddy 3.0), so let me try to relay to you dads out there a very abbreviated list of the things I learned during my first two years as a father:

1. Expect the Unexpected - No matter how many books you read prior to – and during – parenthood, it’s pretty much on-the-job training.
2. Quality Time Trumps All - If you don’t carve out time to spend with your wife and your child EVERY DAY (even if it’s by phone, text or facebook if you’re traveling for work), your marriage and your experience as a dad will not be as fulfilling. Besides, watching your baby or toddler experience the world is more entertaining than anything you can find on TV, in the movies or online.
3. Memorize Your Child’s Features - Take time to gaze at your child. Take lots of pictures and videos. Pay attention to the little things that make her who she is. Do it now, because she will look different tomorrow. They really do grow up fast.
4. Keep a Journal - I highly recommend starting either a paper or electronic journal. I actually keep both. I use this daddy blog to share things with the world that I think people might find interesting, and I write in a hardcopy journal my more intimate thoughts and experiences as a dad. Trust me … so much happens each day, you WILL forget the little things if you don’t record them. My family loves this daddy blog because they get the funny stories that I sometimes forget to mention when we talk on the phone. In fact, Mamaw (my grandmother) told me the other day that she wishes she had written down the funny stories about her sons and daughters over the years…
5. Take Other People’s Parenting Advice with a Grain of Salt - Yes, it’s great to read books and websites about parenting. Yes it’s great to talk to the pediatrician, your kids’ teachers, your family and your friends about parenting. But only YOU know what is best for your child and your family. Don’t second-guess yourself when it comes to being a dad. Share the parenting workload with your wife (including household chores) and talk to her about everything. Listen to her opinion, politely voice your own and make a joint decision on important parenting issues.

There’s truly nothing better than being a dad. “Daddy” is the best job title in the world. The little things that your child does to make you smile are more valuable than all the money, riches and material things in the world. For example, I would rather listen to Bre giggle and tell me she has “raisin fingers” after her bath than win a million dollars in the lottery.

Oh, and by the way: September is National Baby Safety Month, so I tried to mention a few related items in this post.

The great thing about blogs are that they are open for discussion. What have YOU learned in your two — or twenty — years as a parent? Please comment on this post. I’m sure you can think of something.

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