Black Friday, Instant Gratification and the (Wrong) Message It Sends To Our Kids

Thanksgiving + Black Friday = The Wrong Message for Our Kids

Thanksgiving is a time for reflection on all the good things in our life. It’s also the time of year when you will start to hear your friends, co-workers, people at your church and members of the media start discussing “what the holidays are really about,” “the true meaning of Christmas” and the commercialism that has overtaken the end of each year in America.

From a parenting perspective, there is a lesson for our kids in the juxtaposition of Thanksgiving and Black Friday, one day right after the next. Think about the message it sends to our toddler, preschool and elementary school aged generations:

OK, today is THANKSGIVING. For the past month your teachers have been talking about pilgrims and turkey and the things we’re thankful for. We’re going to sit down together and have a big happy meal with our family today.

By tomorrow morning, we will be ALL DONE reflecting on all the things we’re thankful for. We’re going to get up real early and fight traffic, crowds and strategic shoppers to make sure we get MORE STUFF for the best prices in town. Why? Because it’s BLACK FRIDAY.

Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t participate in Black Friday or buy presents for you loved ones. In fact, Eva and I are planning to partake in the Black Friday early-morning shopping experience for the first time this year.

I’m just saying that if you have small kids, realize that there is a lesson here. A lesson on instant gratification.

We all know people who always immediately received everything they asked for because mommy and daddy were not only rich, but they used their wealth to spoil their kids rotten. I didn’t grow up in that kind of family, but I knew people in high school and college who did. And you know what? I am so thankful that I didn’t grow up like that.

Life is all about perspective.

If you are handed everything with little or no effort, what motivation do you have to work hard and achieve your goals? When you work hard for something, then earn it, the reward is much more satisfying. Instant gratification is not everything. Delayed gratification sweetens the reward.

My advice is to find a happy balance. Eva and I definitely spoil Breanna from time to time. But we also know how to say “no” to her and make her wait for some things.

How do you feel about Black Friday and the fact that it immediately follows Thanksgiving and is a precursor to Christmas? Does it matter?

Tags: advice for dads, advice for fathers, advice for parents, advice for the holidays, being thankful, black friday, christmas shopping, commercialism, delayed gratification, fatherhood, holiday shopping, instant gratification, parenting, parenting advice, parenting tips, perspective, reward for hard work, shopping, shopping advice, thanksgiving